by Dr. Eric Hutchinson

Aeneas

There once was a hero, Aeneas.
Nearly everyone said he was pius.
He left Dido alone
So that he could found Rome:
Fate’s decree; it was not spontaneous.

Ulysses

There once was a drifter, Ulysses.
He thought the Phaeacians were sissies.
They knew nothing of war;
It was rather a bore.
He would not stay to wed Nausikissies.

Achilles

You’ve heard of swift-footed Achilles?
He gave all the Trojans the willies.
But when Ag took his girl,
He said, “Swine, leave my pearl.
Give my baby back, I don’t mean Chili’s.”

---

Dr. Eric Hutchinson is an Associate Professor of Classics at Hillsdale College.